Living with Alzheimer's is not only hard for those who are diagnosed, it is also difficult for those who vow to take care of them. Caregivers say it is a daily pledge that requires a sacrifice like no other.
"All of things that I'm asking for are not for me but to comfort her," writes Tom DeMine. He finds strength in his words, words working as tears that never fall from his eyes.
"She calls me by name, but she calls everyone else by my name too," said DeMine. Tom is caregiver for his 81-year-old wife Nuna, an 11 year Alzheimer's patient. A woman who requires his full support from bathing, to feeding, to comforting. "She's very much like a 2 or 3 year old child."
Marie Scarborough can relate to Tom and compares her 86-year-old mother to her 3-year-old granddaughter. "You're having to think for someone, you're having to totally take care of them, to totally take care of their business," said Marie Scarborough.
Tom and Marie have much more in common. Both walked unfamiliar territory at the beginning of the disease and both reached out for help. They found it behind the doors of the Alzheimer's Association. "Once you know something about who the enemy is, then half your battle is won," said Scarborough. And it is the Alzheimer's Association that helped Marie and so many others learn about what the disease is, what it does to the person living with it, and what it does to those who take on the role as caregiver. Caregivers say one of the most valuable tools is the support groups. "These caregiver things and groups themselves, teach you little techniques and tricks," said DeMine. "I know what to expect, that's one of the main things and the change that they go through," said Scarborough.
Another resource is the Caring Closet, a closet full of supplies to help caregivers offset costs. Then there's the Safe Return program and a 24 hour hotline. "It's more that just here's the services, here you go. It's more like reaching out and holding your hand and letting you know you're not alone," said Stacy Floyd who is the Development Director for the Alzheimer's Association.
Those working behind the scenes work year round to raise money holding concerts and a yearly Memory Walk in Savannah and Statesboro. They say it is a labor of love. "It's a tough disease. It's hard not only on the person that's suffering, but it's hard on the whole family. It's a 24 hour a day job, with no break so we want to let them know there's help and there's support," added Floyd.
As Tom finds words to express his sadness he also finds words to express his gratitude. "They are the Alzheimer's angels you see and they have been beacons and life rafts for me." For a group making a difference in his life, giving him courage to make a difference in the life of the one he loves.
For more information on this year's Memory Walk
click here.
For more information on the upcoming John Berry concert
click here.
